Hello O Reader. This is more of a serious contemplation for me, and I suspect I will be working on it for a while. But I was thinking today about how hard it is to talk about myself or my issues online. It is not because I think it’s wrong to use a blog to discuss how you’re getting by day by day; I think it really helps to see that other people are having the same problems and day to day issues, or that they are conquering or holding their ground against things that might seem small to you, or enormous to you. I just have this fear that if I attach myself as an author to the words and pictures that I create, it will somehow color your reading of them, O Reader. I want them to stand on their own.

“I am a book!”

And maybe they do. I hope they’re strong enough to stand on their own and go off to shape the world in whatever way they do. But I am afraid that showing my face will lessen them, and I don’t want that.

This means, of course, that I am afraid that my face and my persona on the internet is somehow not presentable. I thought for a while it was just to keep myself safe; there are scary wolves in the woodsy-web, and they will eat little girls who stray from the path, who tell one detail too many about themselves and then the wolves can eat them all up, one bit of their identity at a time

ALL FEAR THE NIGHTMARE FUR BLOB! I actually really like wolves. But they are effective fairy tale motifs.

until they are left bankrupt and forever scarred in the online society we have created.

 

That fear still is very real for me; I have only a loose idea of how hacking works, and why someone would want my identity is far beyond me, but still, I am afraid of being stolen.

Dealing with the internet for me is like engaging with the land of fair folk. There are traps and tricks everywhere, and telling your real name, your real purpose may help you to reach the princess in the tower, to discover the treasure, to reveal the power of your heritage and bloodline, but it also may lead you into the thrall of a sorceress, the debt of a being much older and cleverer than you. You must be prepared, with your salt and your prayers, and your metrical charms, your codes of conduct and your armor on at all times.

Changeling children were the ones who acted normally until they were stolen away by the fey and a fairy was left in their place, who squalled and made messes, and didn’t develop the way they should. There were awful, cruel cures for children who were changelings, to force the fairies to bring back the child they had taken.

I trust my changeling and fey word-children to reveal their faces to the internet because they are stronger than my own face. I have prepared them more carefully, and they are surer of themselves. It’s time that I find out how I managed that, and begin to show my own face online. But I will tell you, O Reader, it is difficult to see yourself in the mirror of the endless pool.

I hope to find wisdom along my travels, enough to smooth this transition and reveal the power of my own bloodline. I will try to trust your eyes and heart, O Reader, and show a bit more of my face to the world.

      Well, this is literally the fastest self-portrait thingy I have ever tried. Markers only, two minute timer yo.

 

“May you always have

enough happiness to keep you sweet;

enough trials to keep you strong;

enough success to keep you eager;

enough faith to give you courage;

and enough determination

to make each day a good day.”

-Chinese Blessing 

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